


It's been a long, long time

by SpaceIdiot



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Existing Relationship, Hand Jobs, M/M, Make up sex, Making Love, Making Up, Old Souls, Oral Sex, Spock dealing with emotions, pon farr mention, romantic smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:27:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23296237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceIdiot/pseuds/SpaceIdiot
Summary: Post The Motion Picture, Spock and Kirk haven't really had a moment to talk alone yet, and still aren't sure exactly how to interact.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock, James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 8
Kudos: 114





	It's been a long, long time

Kirk sat on his bed, stomach churning. All that had gone down over the past few days… with Vger, yes, but more than anything, his mind rested on the sudden changes that had brought him back into contact with Spock. Years ago, when they had parted, he had never expected to see him again. Resigned himself. Told himself that he had to move on. It had not been easy. The aching, night after night, his body, his heart, his very soul, if he had one, overcome. He would weep, when no one was looking. Not long after, Bones left Starfleet as well. He’d kept in contact with Bones, here and there, and it was enough to fill that particular void. But Spock had taken a piece of his heart with him to Vulcan, and Jim knew that he would never get that back. Not unless he got Spock back. And now, would things go back to the way they were? Or would Spock leave again? He wasn’t sure if he could handle that.  
He flinched when he heard someone at his door. It was late, and it wasn’t an emergency otherwise the bridge would have contacted him. He wiped his damp eyes.  
“Come in,” he said.  
The door opened and Spock, dressed once again in his dark Vulcan robes, walked through the door. Jim jumped up.  
“Spock!”  
“Captain,” Spock nodded.  
Kirk swallowed and licked his dry lips. “What, er… what did you want?”  
“I was hoping to speak with you.”  
“We could have done that any time today,” Kirk said.  
“Privately,” Spock added.  
Jim felt his heart begin to beat considerably quicker. “Yes, well, what did you want to say?”  
Spock hesitated, taking a moment to breathe. “The words that I had rehearsed now seem inadequate,” he said, “To express what I truly want to say.”  
“It doesn't matter to me if your words are rehearsed or not,” Jim said. “God knows I’ve said a thousand things off the cuff and look at me, I’m alright.”  
“I do not want to speak out of turn,” Spock said. “It has been some time since we last saw each other, and I find it difficult to know where to pick up. I fear being too forward.”  
“Spock,” Jim said, stepping forwards, “Do you remember the first time we made love?”  
Sock straightened, swallowing hard. “I do.”  
Jim took another step forward. “Do you remember what I did that, how should I put it - spurred on that encounter?”  
He tilted his head. “You were aiding me in a hamstring stretch in the gymnasium and you stuck your hand between my legs. But I fail to see-”  
“I think what I’m trying to say,” Kirk interrupted, “Is that don’t think there’s anything you could ever do or say that I would find too forward.”  
Spock stepped forwards. “On Vulcan, I strove to obtain Kolinahr, total logic.”  
“I’ve heard of it.”  
“I could not. Vgr called to me. So I answered the call. I came here looking for answers.”  
“Yes, Spock, you told us-”  
“I discovered that I did not even know what it was that I needed - that I sought for.”  
Kirk hesitated. “I’m sorry.”  
Spock had closed the distance between them. Only inches apart now, Kirk closed his eyes to avoid eye contact with the Vulcan.  
“Jim.” Spock’s voice was little more than a whisper. He raised his hand, just touching his captain's face. “Jim. I sought for you.”  
Kirk felt that all his breath had been stolen from him. He shook his head. “Spock you can’t - you can’t say that to me.”  
Spock stepped back, his body tense. “Jim, I -”  
Kirk paced, red faced and breathing heavily. “You can’t tell me these things and then go back to Vulcan. I can’t handle losing you again.”  
Spock’s lips parted. “I do not intend on going back to Vulcan.”  
Kirk stopped dead in his tracks. “What?”  
“As I said. I do not intend on going back to Vulcan.”  
“But - I - why not?”  
“The answer is simple. You.”  
“Spock, oh… Spock.” Jim closed the distance between them in a second. He grabbed Spock’s face in shaking hands, pulling down into a deep kiss. Spock’s arms found their way around Jim, pulling him, holding him. The form, though now changed with age, was the same. The skin, rougher, warn with years, still brought the same thrill it always had.  
“Spock, Spock, Spock,” Jim repeated over and over as he kissed his way down Spock's jaw and neck to bury his face in his shoulder. “I never thought I would see you again, let alone kiss you.”  
Spock ran his fingers over Jim’s back, across his hair, feeling every inch of him as if it was their first time together.  
“I would dream of you,” Spock said. “My every hour was haunted by your memory.” A tear trickled down Spock’s sunken cheek. “I felt you, during my Pon Farr, when the hands of another found their way across my skin. I did not see his face. Only yours. Only yours. And I felt - I felt so much. I was betraying my quest for Kolinahr, and I was betraying you.”  
Spock started to pull away but Kirk took his face in his hands.  
“Don’t be ridiculous, Spock,” Kirk said, kissing away his lover's tears. “For god’s sake, you’d die if you didn’t mate and I think that’s a perfectly reasonable excuse.”  
“But it didn’t end there,” he said. “When I found that mating brought my mind closer to you, I, I...” Spock stopped.. He shook his head, his eyes pressing shut. “I sought it out whenever I could, always with you on my mind. I was, I am, ashamed.”  
“No,” Jim said firmly, holding up Spock's face. “We were separated. We had no contract. We never expected to see each other again. For me to resent you seeking satisfaction with another would be like me resenting your happiness. What would that make me? A possessive fool. Besides,” he half grinned. “You’re not the only one who did a little sleeping around.”  
Spock could not stop a smile from creeping across his lips. He looked into Kirk’s eyes.  
“Jim,” he said. “I do not think that we can go back to the way we used to be.”  
“Of course not,” Kirk replied. “No one can go back like that. But I don’t care. I don’t want what we had. I want what we can have now.”  
“I have changed,” Spock said.  
“So have I,” Kirk said.  
“And you could love me as I am now?”  
“Spock.” He pulled Spock down so their foreheads touched. “I could love you in every world, every universe, in every form, shape, or version - I would always find you, always love you. Nothing, not even death itself, could change that.”  
Their lips locked again, slow and tasting.  
“T'hy'la,” Spock breathed.  
Kirk pulled back. “What the hell does that even mean?” he said. “You’ve been calling me that ever since we first slept together and I still don’t know what it means.”  
“In english it would translate to friend, brother, or lover, depending on the context,” Spock said.  
Kirk grinned. “And what context would it be this time?”  
Spock’s hand ran from Kirk’s neck to his chest. “I think that you know,” he said.  
Kirk let out a sigh. “I missed you so much.”  
Spock looked at the floor. “And I you.”  
Jim took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “What would you say to-”  
“Yes, Captain.”  
Jim took Spock by the hands, leading him, slowly, towards his bed. He sat down, still holding Spock’s hands.  
“You’ve lost weight,” he said, looking Spock up and down.  
“And I believe that you have gained it,” Spock replied.  
“Hey,” Kirk grinned. Spock put his hands on Jim’s shoulders, carefully pushing him back just enough so that he could crawl onto the bed, straddling him. He bent and kissed Kirk’s neck. Jim took in a sharp breath. His hands ran up Spock’s back. This was different, somehow. When they had been younger there had been this rush, this flurry of hormones and lust, teeth and fingernails. But now, as he felt Spock’s tongue against his skin, the gentleness with which his own hands found their way across Spock’s body… perhaps this was what the poets meant when they talked about “old love.” Though he had always preferred the term “mature.” Spock gently pressed him back onto the bed.  
“If you would allow me, Captain,” Spock said.  
“Take the helm, Mr. Spock,” Kirk grinned. “Oh!” He breathed in sharply as Spock dipped his head between his legs. There was little to separate the Vulcan’s mouth and his skin save a pair of old sweatpants. Spock had pulled them off in a moment. He kissed Jim’s thighs, pushing up his shirt to reach his belly button, the center of his chest. Kirk bit his lip.  
“The taste of you,” Spock said, “It is something I have missed more than I ever thought possible.”  
Jim guided Spock up towards his face so that he could kiss him. Their tongues met, softly, exploring the places they once knew so well. Jim rolled Spock over onto his back, kissing him. He began to fumble with Spock’s robes.  
“How the hell do you get these things off?” he laughed.  
Spock laughed - he laughed. Kirk sat back.  
“Spock? Are you - alright?”  
Spock leaned forwards, smiling. “I do not think that I have ever been better,” he said, cupping Jim’s face in his hand. “Allow me to assist you in disrobing me.”  
It took some effort - Vulcan clothes were not known for their simplicity of design, but before long Kirk found himself intertwining his naked limbs with Spock’s, giggling like a schoolgirl. Spock looked into Jim’s eyes.  
“I would like to give you oral,” he said flatly.  
“Well fuck, Spock,” Jim laughed. “That’s not a very romantic way to ask.”  
“Oh,” Spock flushed. “I am sorry Captain, would you rather I do it again?”  
Jim kissed Spock’s nose. “No, no, it was a joke.”  
Spock raised his eyebrows. “I still have much to learn about humans,” he said. “So I have your permission?”  
“I mean what kind of idiot would I be if I said no to that offer?” Jim grinned.  
Spock rolled Jim over onto his back. “I’ve longed for my lips to touch you,” he said, leaning over Kirk.  
“Now there’s the romance,” Kirk smiled.  
Spock kissed his way down Jim’s chest, taking his prick in his hand and gently kissing it’s head. Kirk moaned. Spock licked from it’s base to it’s head, and took it in his mouth, his eyes making contact with Kirk’s.  
“Goddamn, Spock,” Kirk hissed.  
Spock pulled back. “Yes, Captain?” he said with a raise of his eyebrows.  
“Oh nothing,” Kirk said quickly, “You’re just so goddamn beautiful when you’ve got my cock in your mouth.”  
Spock raised an eyebrow. “Then you will allow me to continue?” he asked.  
“Oh my all means, don’t let me stop you!”  
Spock Jim gasped, grabbing a fistful of Spock’s hair as the Vulcan’s head bobbed up and down. He let every moan, every hiss and gasp spill from his lips as Spock pleasured him. He was not holding back. Spock’s pace increased. His free hand, which had been grasping Jim’s ass, now slipped between his balls and rectum, gently massaging his prostate.  
“Spock,” Kirk breathed. “Spock, oh!”  
He pulled Spock back suddenly. Spock blinked in surprise and a bit of pain, his head throbbing from where Kirk had pulled at his hair. He wiped some saliva off of his chin.  
“I do not understand,” he said.  
“Sorry, sorry,” Jim said quickly. “I was about to come and I… well I didn’t want to yet.” He sat up. “I want to give something back first.”  
The two switched positions. Jim took Spock’s prick in his hand, the head already dripping with precome, and began to stroke it. Spock’s eyes flickered shut.  
“Jim,” he breathed. “I have lived this moment over a thousand times in my mind.”  
Kirk bent to kiss Spock’s stomach, his chest, paying careful attention to his nipples, as his hand continued it’s work. Spock guided Kirk up, their mouths meeting.  
“Jim,” Spock hissed. “I am not going to last very long.”  
“Do you want to come now?” Kirk asked.  
“Y-yes,” Spock gasped. “Yes, please. Fuck.”  
“I love it when you swear,” Kirk grinned. He kissed his way back down Spock’s body. He stroked Spock’s shaft faster, faster, Spock’s hands clutching the sheets, his breath coming in gasps in tune with Kirk’s movements. Jim smiled. His eyes took in the sight of Spock, sweaty and writing, like a banquet table to a starving man.  
“Say my name,” Kirk breathed, increasing his speed.  
“Jim,” Spock cried. “Jim!” With one last gasp of his lover’s name, Spock came. His body fell limp against the sheets, his breath uneven. Kirk smiled. He had, for a moment at least, forgotten about his own need. Spock sat up.  
“Let me,” he said. Jim rolled over onto his back. Spock put his full attention onto Jim, his mouth slipping over his prick once again. It only took a few moments for Jim to come, quivering, calling out Spock’s name like he had done so many times before. Spock crawled up beside Kirk, intertwining their legs, leaning his head on his arms. His eyes blinked drowsily.  
“Spock, you’ve got my, er…” Kirk hesitated. “You uh…” He passed his fingers over his mouth.  
Spock licked his lips and wiped his chin. “Better?”  
Jim cleared his throat. “Y-yeah…”  
A smile played around Spock’s lips as he gently traced the lines of Jim’s face with his fingers. “If I could,” he said, “I would make it so that this moment would never end.”  
“It doesn’t have to,” Jim said. “We can keep this moment, forever. In us. In our memories.”  
“It is a poetic sentiment, Captain,” Spock said. “But hardly realistic. Men of our age are unlikely to -”  
“Hey, watch it,” Kirk grinned, holding up a finger. “You’re older than I am, you know.”  
“Of course, but Vulcan’s also have a longer lifespan than humans, so taking that into consideration, you are, mentally at least, older than I am.”  
Kirk shook his head. “You do know how to woo a man, don’t you?” he laughed.  
“I try,” Spock said with a raise of his eyebrow.  
Kirk shifted so that he could lay more comfortably in Spock’s arms. “You’ll stay here, overnight?” he asked.  
“Of course,” Spock said. “I aim to make up for lost time, as humans say.” He kissed Jim’s forehead. “Now sleep. It is late and you still have a ship to command in the morning.”  
Jim’s eyes flickered shut. “I never thought you would come back,” he said. “I never thought I would see you again.”  
“But I am here now,” Spock said. “And I have no intention of going away again.”  
Kirk nestled against Spock’s body, letting out a long sigh. Spock watched his breath slowly even, and knew he must have fallen asleep. He allowed himself to smile before he, too, fell gently asleep.


End file.
